My Best Move Is The Potty Dance

“I hope no one is watching me right now.” I worry to myself as I gyrate and wriggle outside my SUV. I have just enjoyed the activity-laden MOXI, The Wolf Museum of Exploration + Innovation with the twins and now I struggle to load them from the stroller into their car seats.

Who am I kidding?!?! I am parked on the State Street side of the Amtrak station parking lot and March kicks off the beginning of tourist season in Santa Barbara. I am literally dancing scenery on the main drag, the absolute worst place to avoid being seen by passerbys. Not to mention, I do this dance all over town. This isn’t the only opportunity for a show.

After second thought, I hope they DO see me. I hope those tourists are soon-to-be newlyweds scouting venues in this ever-popular wedding destination. I hope they know that first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage… and then this becomes YOU.

Did you know that March 5th is officially National Potty Dance Day? Who knew! I wasn’t just dancing outside my car while Knox and Milla watched with skepticism, I was appropriately celebrating!

Face it, there’s never a good time to need-to-go while on-the-go with your Littles, especially while they are “toddlers” (which is basically code for Tasmanian Devils hyped up on pre-workout). You can’t leave them and taking them with you poses a whole new set of challenges such as cleanliness, considering whether they’ll come in the stall and wait with you or immediately try to crawl under the door, evaluating whether they’ll have a meltdown being dragged away from the playthings or accepting that by taking them to the bathroom you may have just unveiled their new favorite place in the museum from which you can’t keep them from bee-lining to for the entire next year.

“Just put them in the stroller and take them in with you,” you say. This is where Twinning gets especially fun. Assuming I can fit my Double-Wide into the bathroom in the first place (technically it can fit by engineering standards, which is a joke), there’s no way they are fitting into the stall with me. Unless I’d like to do my thing with the door open, usually frowned upon in such establishments, I’m waiting for and then commandeering the handicap stall assuming I can actually fit through the door.

“Ask a friend to watch them,” you say. I can barely keep track of both my toddlers at the same time much less a friend who is already watching her own one or more kiddos. Did I mention that mine are runners? Equipped with a healthy self-confidence and not a care in the world “they run and don’t look back” an observer once remarked… and not in the same direction, that would be too easy.

So, along with my running shoes I better bring my bladder of steel and cut back on all sources of hydration and coffee- again, cruel. It’s no small irony that as a mom your bladder may never be the same after the joy of childbirth. Mommy Bladder is a real thing that many women don’t talk about. I just learned that 1 in 4 women in the US experience involuntary urinary leakage. Crazy common issue that we all pretend doesn’t exist. Thankfully here are some wonderful women who do talk about it and what can be done to get those pelvic muscles back in shape:

Leaking Pee When You Sneeze? You’ve Got Mom Bladder — And There’s Help

FYI, the program Lynn is recommending is Abs, Core and Pelvic Floor by Natalie Hodson. I have not personally tried this out but would love to hear from others.

In short, we all do it. Have a laugh, take yourself a little less seriously and try not to pee your pants. Maybe even get yourself a prize.

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