In Where’s the F*#king Map? I wrote about breaking down the concept of identity with the goal of finding a more fulfilling version of self and purpose distinct from motherhood, relationship, family and friendship- all important endeavors on their own. This is that selfish, sacred space that is just for me.
Across my peers this is not a novel concept. I am not the only hot mess in the room.
Contrary to what our Instagram and Facebook feeds display the majority of us do not feel like we have all it figured out. There’s a lot of faking it til you make it. Don’t compare your inside to other people’s outside. The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake.
Easier said than done. Right? However, I know that I’m exactly where I need to be at this precise moment and, for the record, I like who I am. I am blessed for having stability and fulfillment in the foundational layers of Maslow’s Hierarchy so that I can muse about Self Actualization. In short, I am striving for more. As a typical Type A person, this a where a lot of deep breathing comes in reminding myself to smell the roses.
Really, let’s stop and take a deep breath of appreciation for life together:
Animals Sniffing Flowers Is The Cutest Thing Ever (101 Pics)
If you haven’t noticed by now, I tend to get ahead of myself. I don’t need to race to find answers to the big questions like “What’s my purpose?” as if being a good person, friend, mother, wife and global citizen aren’t enough already.
Mantra #1:
“Leap, and the net will appear.”
John Burroughs
In short, stop worrying. It doesn’t add any value. Take a deep breath and shake yourself from the paralysis that keeps you from taking any action at all. You don’t need to solve the big problems, you just need to take one step, and then another, and then another. I don’t need to know the details of “How” I am going to accomplish my big goals, I just need to know that if I keep taking steps in the right direction I will get there. This is a combination of the power of visualization and taking the first step, which may be a doozy.
According to author Jack Canfield, referred to as “America’s #1 Success Coach,” using visualization techniques to focus on your goals and desires yields four very important benefits:
- It activates your creative subconscious which will start generating creative ideas to achieve your goal.
- It programs your brain to more readily perceive and recognize the resources you will need to achieve your dreams.
- It activates the law of attraction, thereby drawing into your life the people, resources, and circumstances you will need to achieve your goals.
- It builds your internal motivation to take the necessary actions to achieve your dreams.
Visualization is the first step however, IMO, actually getting out of your head or journal or bed and taking action is critical to sealing the deal. Start somewhere, anywhere. Take a little action with what time and energy you have to give day after day. Little steps make up a journey, words make up a novel, bricks make up a wall. On those days where you feel like you have nothing to offer remember:
“80% of success is showing up.”
Woody Allen
Mantra #2:
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
Henry David Thoreau
Live with intention and mindfulness. What is Mindfulness? Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. I am present in the full and consuming life I have, with all of its responsibilities and rewards. I have made difficult decisions professionally to make my young twins a priority because I do not want to risk missing this precious time in their lives, our lives. I believe that my being mentally and physically present to the best of my ability is critical to contributing to the development of their foundational subconscious concept of self. I’m also aware that I am craving personal growth and that I may only have 15 minutes a day to muse about what inspires me and another 15 minutes to lay another brick towards building a dream that is just for me.
Unslumping yourself is not easily done, but with a little inspiration, a little visualization and a little step each day I am already well on my way.
As a project manager I am a fan of creating a plan in order to ensure success. Here’s is a daily regimen I try to follow to keep myself focused and mentally and physically healthy:
- Meditation – This doesn’t always happen every day, but I honestly try. Currently I am working through 15 minute guided meditations led by Deepak Chopra. Bonus, they’re narrated by Oprah and they’re free!
- Visualization – In short, take a few moments to channel the feelings you expect to feel having already accomplished your dream, whatever it may be. Often visualization is associated with having something. Instead, try to focus on how your accomplishment will make you feel.
- Daily Affirmations – Make these personal! I try to do daily affirmations for myself and my kids.
- Learn – Learning is where I often find inspiration. Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Ted talks. I’m also reading two books ATM:
- Movement – Frankly, I am not a pleasant or sane person without movement. On my busiest days this might just be a walk, run or few sets of stairs at my local Mesa Lane stairs (the view can’t be beat!). My favorite movement when time allows is circuit bootcamp at Bond Fitness or getting my sweaty flow on at CorePower Yoga.
- Manage EMF – The video below reminded me about this one. What is EMF? Electromagnetic fields. I put my devices in airplane mode when I sleep and try to not charge them near where I sleep or sit.
- Vitamins & Eat Well – Pretty self explanatory but easy to forget.
- Lay A Brick – Contribute daily in some small (or big) way to something that inspires you.
Here is yet another Ted talk I found which helped me to identify some areas I could improve upon:
MerWoman 